just breathe

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no such thing as summer vacation August 18, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — maurianne @ 11:20 pm

Well, that is for me anyway. Everybody and their dog has been taking vacations all summer long, and guess who gets to fill in for them. Yup, that would be me. It has been good for money. I’ve needed the extra money…not for me of course, but it has helped. But now I am verging on burn out. I am trying to say no every once in a while so I can have a little down time, and that is a new experience for me… Saying no. It’s a good thing.

I hate it when people complain about their lives. I figure if it is bad, change it. But what I hate even more, is that I have become that person. I am stuck in a situation I hate. I am unhappy, and sad, and a shell of a person I used to be. I’ve been trying to make the best of a bad situation, and biding my time till things can change so I can move on. Well, I reached my limit. I am no longer willing to wait things out. I don’t want to waste my life. I haven’t lived yet, and I am 32 years old. All I do, is do for others. That isn’t a bad thing, I just haven’t balanced it. I am eager to experience and explore, try new things, and possibly fall in love. I am open and so ready, but I am tied down. It has not been a good feeling. I am almost to the point of rebelling. That’s even worse. I would hurt the people I love, the people who count on me the most.

My solution to this mess…. Well, I am taking a vacation in October. I know, I am actually planning a vacation and not just up and going on a whim like a normally do. And this is a vacation with a purpose. First, for me to get away, relax, and have fun. Second, to check out a possible job opportunity and new place to live. Yeah, that’s right, I am no longer waiting for things to change, I am going to make the changes and dam the consequences. Just because something is okay, that doesn’t make it right. It is obvious no is looking out for me, so I am doing what I want from now on and bringing my responsibilities with me….AWAY from Las Vegas. The only thing I like in Las Vegas is my job, but my career is at a dead-end in Vegas. There is no room for me to grow, and I am afraid I will get bored or worse, I will hurt myself in the long run if I stay just because it is comfortable and familiar. Besides, I need more than just work. I’ve lived too long like this. Work is not life. And Vegas doesn’t offer me enough to be happy.

This isn’t a whim, and I know it will take some time and hard work, but I am up for the challenge. I am more than ready for this….Leaving Las Vegas.

Where am I going? Not sure yet. I have some very crazy off the wall ideas, that no one would ever guess of me. I’ll let y’all know soon enough.