just breathe

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*happy dance October 24, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — maurianne @ 4:21 pm

Today I took my Ultrasound Physics registry exam. I passed with flying colors and am now registered in abdominal ultrasound. I’m contemplating turning right around and taking another physics exam for my vascular registry. But, for right now I am gonna celebrate. This takes a whole lot of pressure off, and opens some new doors. New jobs, and travel opportunities. Now I just gotta update my resume and hit the pavement running. Well, that’s after I get back from working in Vegas the next 2 days. *sigh* Now I may be able to change my topsy turvy work schedule. Yay!!

 

baggage October 16, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — maurianne @ 3:50 am

I wasn’t really gonna write anything this week because I am focused on a fast approaching physics test that will make or break my career, but that is a subject I will write about at another time.

I’ve been going through some interesting emotional stuff lately. I’ve been remembering things from my past that I don’t want to remember. I’ve been working hard lately, on my weight problem, my poor credit, my job situation, my spirituality…everything. The flashbacks are a result of that. I have a memory of when I was 13, a guy picked me up and tried to carry me away. He realized his mistake and tried to play it off as a joke and walked away. This is not just a blip in my life but a reoccurring theme. I’m having to face some interesting truths. I have been a dancer most of my life, and had a decent body during that time as well. But I have gained weight to protect myself, and stopped dancing. I don’t date because I am scared, and I am scared because of past experiences. I don’t want to go into too many specifics, I just know I am ready to let those things go. Tonight I finally talked to my mom about some of these experiences. Some she knew of, and others she suspected. She herself is a victim of rape, so I felt I had no right to burden her with any of this, it’s nothing compared to what she went through. But I must say it feels good to finally tell her what has been on my mind. Mother’s are amazing. My mother is far from perfect, and our relationship has never been really good until recently. She is different from the mother I knew growing up, and that is a wonderful thing. I am grateful for the opportunities and experiences I have in my life. I am ready to push past my pain and take control of my life. I am stronger now.

(thank you mom for listening)

 

wish me luck October 12, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — maurianne @ 5:42 am

I’ve applied to a hospital in Utah. Not in Salt Lake, but it wouldn’t be too bad of a commute. Plus it is a company I am very familiar with and would love working for. It’s only a part time gig, but it may be just what I need to cut down on my time in Vegas. Not that I don’t like going down there and working, it’s just that spending so much time going back and forth is tough. Once or twice a month is fine, but lately it has been four or five times a month. I’ve spent this entire week trying to bounce back from last weeks hectic schedule down there. It’ll be interesting to see how this turns out. I’ll keep everyone posted.

 

I cannot get this out of my head October 8, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — maurianne @ 9:05 pm