just getting by March 31, 2009

Sometimes things are so bad, that all you can do is just hang on and get by. There is no sugar coating my life right now. It is rough. I feel as if I have the weight of the world on my shoulders sometimes. I miss my mother. She was my best friend. Saturdays are the worst, because that is the day she would call and ask my weekend plans. We talked more than that of course. She had a knack for weather, and I would call her all the time for the forecast. I miss that, I miss talking to her. She would listen and let me reason things out on my own. I never realized how much I needed that. I miss my father too, and he is finally on the mend after almost 2 months in the hospital. This week is the first time he is breathing on his own. And he can talk now too. I am relieved , I was not quite prepared to lose him too but it came really close quite a few times. Now I just take it day by day. I have become a bit of a cry baby, but the pressure is so intense something was bound to happen. If I make it through this year without losing my mind, it will be an ok year.

I do have a plan in the works. I am taking a week vacation and will not tell anyone where I am going or how to reach me. One whole week with no one to take care of. That sounds like heaven to me.

Vegas girl once again March 19, 2009

 I have moved back to Las Vegas in the midst of a major family crisis. It has been rough. I miss my mom, and my dad is still in critical condition. He has been in the hospital for over a month and still has a machine breathing for him. He is doing better this week, but he goes back and forth a lot. It has been an emotional roller coaster to say the least. I’m not gonna go into all the details. The more I think about all the stuff going on the harder it is for me. I am trying to do one thing at a time, and not stress out. Luckily I am getting plenty of work, so that is one thing I need not worry about. I made a good choice moving back for that reason alone. But I must admit, it is nice to have siblings to rely on again as well. I talk to my sister more now than I ever have in my life. It’s nice to see our relationship grow. I guess what is helping me right now is realizing good things can come out of bad situations. I am trying to focus on the positives.