heartbroken and broken hearts February 25, 2008

My dad has been in the hospital since Wednesday. He had a mild heart attack at his doctors appointment with his heart specialist. Talk about timing….I teased my dad about it. He has some very odd luck. My 16 year old niece was with him at the time, and luckily she has been prepared for these situations. I got her and my other niece enrolled in an internship at my hospital. They’ve been doing rounds in my hospital since the fall. She is currently doing rounds in the ER. I am so glad that she was there with my dad when he got taken in. They recognized her, and linked her to me and have been taking amazing care of my dad. I feel so blessed to have such wonderful coworkers. I called the night ultrasound tech to have him go and give my dad a blessing. He did, and even sat with my dad and explained things to him, cause he had the same problems a few weeks ago and ended up in the ER himself. I had even gone down to Vegas to cover for him. So for him to take the time on a busy night, made all the difference in the world. My dad is from Germany, English is his second language, so his communication can be a bit limited sometimes. Although my dad will never admit that.

Anyways, I was ready to head down to Vegas but my dad wanted me to stay in Salt Lake to take care of a few things. One of my nieces is headed up this week to check out schools up here. She spent her first year of college in St. George, but it isn’t working out. So I am preparing for her to come live with me and go to school up here. I am gonna need to get a bigger place, but that can be arranged later. I am very excited for this. I think it will be good for her. I’m not quite sure how this will all work out, but I hope it does.

I am off to Vegas next week. I am not sure how long I will be there. I found out today that my dad needs a heart bypass surgery. He will be out of work for quite awhile. I have control of the finances, but without a miracle, my parents will be losing their house. I am heartbroken. I’m sure that not having that huge house payment would be a weight lifted from their shoulders. I just wish there was more I could do. I might be able to pay their bills, but that would mean 3 months away from them and everyone. If certain things were to fall in place it may work, but that is a small possibility. We’ll see how this plays out.

I was so hopeful for my future in Salt Lake. I just got accepted to Weber, my niece is moving there, and I just applied for a part time ultrasound position this morning. But now….I just don’t know.

Right now, all I want is my dad.

Wahooooooo! February 20, 2008

I bought a washer and dryer!!!

I am washing everything in the house just because I can. No more laundromat that shreds my clothes. Yipee!!

Good news February 14, 2008

I got accepted to Weber University. I start this summer.

What am I going back to school for? I have no clue, but I need more than a degree in ultrasound, so off to school I go. I have no clue what I am doing, I’m just going with impressions I’ve had. This is gonna be fun…strange, but fun.

Grrrrrr, with a capital G February 11, 2008

I got a speeding ticket last night on my way home from Las Vegas. The kicker…I wasn’t even speeding!!!  I had my cruise control on. I asked the officer if he was sure it was me he saw (probably a bad move on my part). Cause I was on cruise control the entire way. I know better than to speed through Nephi and Mona. He pulled me over in Payson and said it took him a while to catch up to me. Whatever….it wasn’t me he was after. I was just the easiest to pull over. There was a ton of traffic. Besides, I have a 14 year old 4 cylinder car…..good luck speeding in that thing. He’s says I was going 105mph. Does anyone else think there is something seriously wrong here?

I’m fighting it. Yeah it sucks that I have to take time out and go down to Nephi to do it, but he can’t get away with this. I WASN’T SPEEDING!!!!

Passion fruit February 7, 2008

I bore myself. No seriously!!

I was pondering my life and trying to  figure out why it has been so long since I have dated. It’s been 4 years since my last kiss. Sad huh. But the thing is…I never get asked out. So I was thinking about this. Part of it was I wasn’t ready to date. I got stomped on pretty hard the last time, and I needed time to heal. But now I am ready, to move on. One major problem though….. I am a complete bore!! I work and that’s just about it. I have no passion, no hobbies, no nothing. I put myself to sleep when I talk. When did I become this shell of a person? When did I check out? I’ve become a complete Ice Queen. No emotion whatsoever. I think things have been so hard for me the last 5 years, that I just shut down. I had a little time in Utah to heal, but that is quickly coming to an end and I haven’t made enough progress to make a difference. I’m gonna be single forever.

I’d become the creepy cat lady, except the cats would kill me…literally. Guess I need a plan B. Hmmmm…..I think I want to take over the world. Time to fire ze missiles.

spending another couple of weeks in Las Vegas February 3, 2008

You won’t see much of me the first 2 weeks of February. I’m OK with that since Punxsutawney Phil predicts 6 more weeks of winter. That just means less winter for me since Las Vegas hardly feels like winter. Yup, I am wearing short sleeves! I’m loving it….well, I’m working inside a hospital during the beautiful weather so I don’t get to enjoy it as much as I would like. But still…it’s nice.

  Anyways…quick update…. Work is complicated right now. Although I did get employee of the month for January, yay! So, I thought moving back to Las Vegas was my only option, but that isn’t working quite how I thought it would. I applied for school at Weber and still haven’t heard on that. Getting transcripts was a pain in the butt. So I may be starting classes in the summer. That complicates things even more. My lease is up in May, and I have to be ready to make a decision then. Stay or go. The pros and cons are about equal. Spending more time in Vegas so I can check on my dad has been a major plus. I went to my dad’s last  doctors appointment and things are looking up a little. Someone is finally trying to help him, doing the right tests and explaining things. Plus Dr. Harkins (my homeopathic doctor) has been sending herbal supplements down to my dad. It’s helping. He isn’t talking about death so much. And that means the world to me. The possibility of losing my dad has taken its toll on me. I have all the family responsibilities if he goes. I can handle it, but I am not ready for that. I need my dad. That’s all there is to it.

So that’s that. My life is on hold for awhile till I figure a few things out. I think a little time will help me and drive me nuts at the same time. I am looking forward to the summer.