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Moving out of my comfort zone. January 28, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — maurianne @ 9:24 pm

Last night I signed a lease on a 5 bedroom house that is way out on the southwest side of Las Vegas. This means I will have a bit of a commute to both of my hospitals. Oh yeah…I forgot to mention. I started working at another HCA hospital this week. The sister hospital to the one I have worked at for the past 5 years. So now I split my time between the two. And now I am moving to a very unfamiliar part of Las Vegas……way way out there.

I am excited for the change, but am a bit nervous too. These are some drastic changes I am making all at once. I think what really keeps coming to mind is that I want to be away from bad memories. My family has been on this same street for over 10 years, and those 10 years have been bad and worse. Soon after we moved on to  this street my mother had a stroke that severely impaired her, after that my brothers went through struggles with drugs and crime. Then my dad had a heart attack and has been in and out of the hospital the past couple of years, and more recently both my parents ended up in the hospital last year.  My mother died, and my father spent 4 months in the hospital fighting for his life. During the time my father was in the hospital he lost his house, and I had to move all of his and my mothers stuff into my house that is just 5 houses down the street. Everyday for the past year I have had to drive by their old house. I am more than ready for a change, even if it will be way out of my comfort zone.

 

new year and a new place to live. December 31, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — maurianne @ 11:47 pm

I gotta keep with tradition, and move again. Like I have every year for the past few years. I have outgrown the house I am in. So in the next month I hope to have found a 4 bedroom house to move in to.

Oh I long for the days when I had an apartment all to myself. And maybe one day I will have that again, but for now I must have a house big enough for all the strays I keep collecting. I love them, they are family, but it would be nice if someone would at least chip in for rent.

*sigh* So much for a travel job. I gotta post pone till all this is done. Hopefully a second per diem job with another Hospital will come through and I won’t have to worry about getting enough hours. Although it would be nice to get out of Las Vegas. Guess I just need to plan road trips in the spring. Utah is on the list, but it has been awhile since I have been in Arizona and Cali. Hmmm…fun,fun.

 

conversations in dog tongue December 10, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — maurianne @ 7:17 pm

I’ve noticed I have this weird habit of talking to my dogs and interpreting what they say to me or my brother. My brother just laughs at me, but my commentary seems to be pretty accurate. Here is last nights conversation…

Boo: *cry*

Me: What is it?

Boo: (jumps into my lap) I stare longingly into your eyes.

Me: That’s not going to work.

Boo: You are under my control, I am adorable.

Me: Stop being so cute and nuzzling me. You are gonna knock Lil Girl out of the chair.

Boo: Think only of me, I am cute. *blink blink*

Me: Oh fine! But I am not holding you all night.

Boo: (evil laugh) My work here is done. Now I go find food guy. He cannot resist my cute.

…(in other room)- Aww! Ready for some peanut butter Boo?

(I shake my head)

My dogs have us under their control. They are too cute for their own good and they have spent years training us. Somehow I only get one small corner of the bed at night. Two little dogs can really stretch out especially when they are mad at me. I can’t complain though, they have so much personality and make me laugh every day with their crazy antics. I love dogs.

 

new self defense weapon… November 15, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — maurianne @ 7:06 pm

My knitting needles. Watch out people those things are dangerous in my hands.

 Yup, I did it. I took a knitting class. I have started my first project…a scarf.  I knitted yesterday until my eyes were crossing and then I lost a loop, and everything fell apart. I had to start all over again. No worries, it was kinda fun. It was a rocky beginning, but I am starting to get it now, just don’t look at the beginning of the project. I’m happy with it no matter how funky it looks. Knitting is great to ease stress, I had so much fun sitting around a table with a bunch of women, and one guy. I had no clue who these people were, but we sat and knitted and chatted.

 There is so much I want to do. I was even thinking of taking a herbology class. *sigh* but that will have to wait a bit. My next adventure is a travel job. It was never the right time before, but my hours are dwindling at my hospital and my little brother is here full-time with my dad so I can work and pay the bills. So I feel comfortable leaving for a few months to make some extra money. I’ll miss my dogs…a lot. But it is just a temp job, so it will be ok. I just worry about my ability as a tech. I can scan, but I have weak points I need to work on. I hope that where ever I go, I can have enough confidence in what I do that my weak points won’t be a problem. I just hope I can adapt. Well…I will never know until I try, so let the negotiations begin. I may leave as soon as December…sucks for Christmas, but my family isn’t too into it this year. Without my mom it is gonna be a tough holiday for us all. But we’ll survive. I always do.

 

headaches galore November 12, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — maurianne @ 9:12 am

I am writing a little urban fantasy book. It’s about a world being torn apart because the supernatural have come out of the closet. Science and technology finally forced vampires, werewolves,  faeries, brownies, and other spirits out into the open.

It’s very interesting putting a story together. Right now I am in the research phase of things. I hope to move onto the outline fairly soon, cause I have a constant headache lately. It needs to be put on paper..soon.

Or maybe my headaches are due to the fact that I was forced to get a flu shot this year. Yeah, it is no longer optional for hospital employees that work directly with patients unless you want to wear a surgical mask full-time. I wear those masks enough as it is, breathing in them is not comfortable. So, for the sake of my job I got a flu shot for the first time in my life. I hate it, and the headache that came with it. I will be going back to school next year so that I have options other than working in a hospital, even though I love my job. It’s time I look a little further ahead.

On another note….It’s funny, when you want to make a serious change for your health and you are committed, it just happens. I will be a different person 6 months from now in many, many ways. I needed change, so I am making it happen.

 

in a writer’s head October 27, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — maurianne @ 5:50 am

Ouch, really….I don’t know how writer’s do it. I’ve had a few stories bouncing around for the past couple of years but I  always had an excuse not to write anything down. One urban fantasy story in particular has been on my mind lately. So I decided to do something about it. I went to this really great writing class on Saturday. My process for writing this book has been disjointed and messy, and this instructor lined everything up for me. It was great, but now I can hardly sleep and my head is killing me. More and more parts of the book keep falling into place. The outline is just screaming at me, but I don’t want to sit and write just yet. I am working a couple of graveyard shifts and I want to get through those before I dive into my madness. I love it and hate it at the same time. If I don’t get this typed out soon my head is gonna pop right off. It’s great to be jazzed about writing again. I just needed someone to guide me a bit. If you ever get the chance take a writing class from Bobbie Christensen, do it. She travels around and teaches these classes. Next time  she is in Vegas I am gonna take a few more courses with her. I am so excited for this new adventure. My world is gonna be filled with an empath, a cop, brownies, a green man, spirits, vampires, and werewolves. How awesome is that?

Next adventure….I am gonna learn how to knit. Scarf anyone?

 

Fall TV October 12, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — maurianne @ 11:34 pm

I am loving fall TV.

On Mondays there is Lie To Me, House, Trauma, and Castle. (A little old and new mixed in.)

Tuesdays  we have Forgotten. (Christian Slater…nuff said)

Wednesday, Cougar Town, Mercy, Modern Family and Glee.

Thursday about kills me…too much that I wanna watch. Flash Forward, Bones, Fringe, Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice and Community.

And Friday…. Dollhouse.

Gotta love it all. If it weren’t for Hulu.com, I doubt I would ever get a chance to watch any of these.

 

taking care October 12, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — maurianne @ 10:25 pm

This week I am jumping into better habits. These are good habits I used to have before I let things get me down.  Losing my mom like I did was a hard hit for me, and taking care of my dad isn’t any easy task either. I’ve been sick off and on for the summer. At one point I had to go through two different anti-biotics, a pain killer, and a pretty strong decongestant(I hate medication). Seems like Las Vegas is trying to kill me sometimes, but this is where I need to be right now.  If friends were to drop in my life right now, they would be shocked. I don’t really cook anymore, even though I have always been a bit of a health nut. My homeopathy is scarce, I am not taking care of myself at all.  And I feel yuck. I’ve never had major health problems, just a few things here and there, but I’ve always worked hard to be healthy and active.  Since moving to Las Vegas I feel like a punching bag and one severely bruised person. If I keep this up, I will end up seriously sick and I have too many people relying on me for that. So this week I am pushing past the yuck and going back to my good habits.

And once I am me again, I am gonna donate blood like I used to. I really enjoyed donating, and I miss giving back.  That’s a positive force I need in my life.

For my mental well being I am going to look into health insurance and life insurance. I worry about what will happen to my dad and brother if anything were to happen to me. I need to know they will be ok.

I guess my point today is that everyone needs to take the time to take care of themselves and develop good habits. Even little changes do a lot of good. Even for me.

 

don’t rock the boat- snippet October 8, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — maurianne @ 6:10 am

I have a story forming in  my head. I just started writing, and mapping things out. This is just a very rough draft, but I thought I would post a snippet.

prologue

I snapped on the Latex gloves. *sigh* I love that sound.

“Quit loitering Mike”, I chided myself. “time to get to work”. Bad habits are hard to break, and this one I would probably never outgrow. You can take the kid out of the street, but the street will always be in the kid. Even if that kid is in her late twenties.

I slowly walked past a row of dark green, foul-smelling dumpsters. My big rubber boots made a clump clump sound as I searched out my first victim. The smell of rotting food made its way to my nose as I approached the last metal solider in the line.  There is no time to be squeamish in  a moment like this. I quickly hoisted myself up onto the edge of the dumpster and dived right in. As my feet landed in the sea of muck I heard a squish and a crunch. I looked down. Ahhh, one foot in a patch of rotten tomatoes, the other foot crunched in a half full egg shell carton. Great, rotten eggs are the hardest to get off of any clothing or shoes. Looks like I have a date with the garden hose after this.

I gagged a bit. “You think I would be used to this after all these years” I mumbled, trying not to open my mouth too much, but just enough to breathe through it instead of my poor mistreated nose.

I started sifting through the trash and rot. Hmm, tomatoes meant there was more produce around. “Jackpot”, a four pack of vine ripened tomatoes, one rotten the rest were red, plump and a little firm….”perfect”. I popped the rotten one out and bagged the rest and went on sifting. Memories flooded through my mind as I worked. I was just a teenager the first time I got desperate enough to dumpster dive. I had read about it in an article when I was in younger. I read anything I could get my hands on, and this little tidbit came in handy when I was forced onto the streets. I had little money and what little I had, I had plans for, I didn’t want to waste it on food. But I needed to eat to survive.

I made my way down the line of dumpsters. As I dove into the last one a thought popped into my head. I snorted, “If Mom could see me now”. I screeched that thought to a halt. I didn’t want to walk down that dark tunnel of thought. It would be salting wounds that may never heal. But it was too late, I could hear the train coming and I was already too  far in the tunnel. I was about to be smacked down by an emotional train wreck. I skittered out of the dumpster and crashed down to my knees. Tears sprang to my eyes, bile rose in my throat. I crawled behind the dumpster and out of sight. Emotions started to crash down on me in waves. Fear, anger, envy, disgust. “No” I choked out, “no,no,no”. I striped off the latex gloves and crawled to the outer brick wall of the market that the dumpsters were lined up against. I pressed my hands against the cool red brick and opened myself up. The waves settled and a sense of calm enveloped me like a warm blanket on a cold snowy morning.

“Breathe Mikka, just breathe.”

I sat there for a few minutes, but  eventually my nose got the better of me. I reeked of garbage. Time to get over it and move on…Story of my life, I thought. Besides, I had a good life now. There was no reason to dwell on the past. Life punched me in the gut and I kept on kicking. Sure the air whooshed out of me for a bit, but I got it back.

I swooped up my bags of dumpster treasure and pressed one hand to the wall of the market again. This time when I opened myself up I sent feelings of gratitude toward the wall. In return I got a sense of amusement. The building was amused with me. I was stunned. Apparently the market building had been bored and my dumpster diving and emotional war was quite the bit of drama. Even better than a fight for an open register on a Saturday. I didn’t quite agree, but the mental picture of me hoping from dumpster to dumpster and then landing on my knees and kissing the ground made me laugh out loud. I was far from graceful, so the image got funnier and funnier the more I thought about it. The building laughed with me. I patted the wall, quested out with my senses to make sure th coast was clear, and then clomped my way home.

 

Fall is finally here!! October 3, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — maurianne @ 1:58 am

I love Autumn. It is a great season.  All the changing of colors, the cooler weather, haunted houses, scary movies, and  costumes. I can leave the house without the fear of heat stroke. In fact, I can start wearing layers. I have a new hoodie and a new sweater to start me off already. It’s like a burst of energy that I was in desperate need of. I feel pretty good. I’m out running errands, I rearranged my room, and I got my desktop up and running again. I love my lappie, but it feels good to have a real computer to myself again. So bring on October, I love this time of year!

fall

fall